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Let's
get straight then to solutions…solutions….solutions…ahhhh
sweet soothing solutions. Solutions are like magic ointment
which can soooo-oooothe emotional arousal…and mostly they’re
always available…if we will but take the time to look for
them.
Solution
Focused Brief Therapy – What’s it all about?
Solution
Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is simple. Solution Focused means
focusing on solutions to current problems. Brief Therapy means
that it is time limited and doesn’t go on indefinitely.
“Brief” here means….comparatively brief. In older forms of
therapeutic intervention one might expect to undertake hundreds
or in many cases thousands of hours of therapy to sort out
one’s neuroses’ over periods of years using an often painful
introspective process of analysing emotional wounds,
dysfunctions, and personal relationship dynamics. This is
unnecessary and for most of us is like pulling teeth without
anaesthetic. With SFBT one might expect somewhere between one
and twenty sessions. Most people are good to go within 5-10
sessions. Many problems (simple phobias for instance) are
usually resolved quicker than that. More pervasive anxiety
disorders invariably err toward the 10, 12, or 15 session end of
the spectrum, though this is often spread out over a relatively
longer period of time. So if you’re worrying because you’re
not feeling like it’s all fixed in 3 or 5 sessions, please be
patient…You are a human being….. not a machine. You are also
quite normal. Overcoming anxiety, sometimes, takes
time. When your expectation is reasonable you can STOP
feeling like something is wrong if you’re not “fixed”
immediately. We’ll get to getting “fixed” in a bit. SFBT
does not guarantee (though does sometimes deliver) overnight
transformation. It means “quick compared to the old school”.
Hope
doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning
out over the bad. It's simply a choice to take action - Anna
Lappe
Solutions
then?. Well. Solutions create hope. Hope makes a brain happy.
There’s nothing a brain likes less than feeling all hemmed in.
So when your brain gets snagged or stuck on an obstacle, the
very best thing you can do is seek
a solution. When you find a solution to a problem you get a
little “feel good” chemical reward from your brain to let
you know you did a good job. Solving problems gives you a buzz.
When you are in problem solving mode you are inviting yourself
to step out of the emotional mind and into the left pre-frontal
cortex. The left pre-frontal cortex is the most powerful part of
your brain and enjoys the greatest degree of “control”. When
you are in “control” there’s no need to be anxious,
because being in “control” means that you are not vulnerable
and if you’re not vulnerable then there’s nothing to
avoid…so no fear. We can choose to use our problem solving
brain……..but unfortunately when anxious it can be so easy to
simply forget we ever had one. If we don’t use our problem
solving brain then our emotional mind will try to figure it out
(our problem) all by itself and since our emotional mind is
naturally negative, and emotional, we’re not likely to feel
too great about what it comes up with….usually MORE emotion!
If
you are feeling bad or hopeless, ask yourself what “problem”
you are getting snagged on right now? HOW can you create a
solution?
AVOI
D
asking yourself “WHY” there is a
problem. “Why” requires a different approach and outside of
a therapeutic approach encourages introspection rather than
solution. We may well cover “why” in a controlled way in our
therapy, but for everyday anxiety busting you need to stay
focused in your everyday life on solutions. That means asking yourself HOW can you create a solution?
Write down your options (writing helps to clarify). Possible
questions will include but are by no means limited to: -
What
is the worst that could happen?
What
is the likelihood of that happening?
What
would you do if that did happen? (“Freak out” is not the
right answer…try again with something more constructive.)
What
do you reasonably expect to happen?
What
is the best case scenario?
Likelihood
of this occurring?
Be
methodical and rational in your thinking, not emotional or
cyclical. Think it through to solution, even if the solution is
to know that right now you can’t know and that you must
therefore put the problem for now to one side. Clear thought is
tremendously empowering, and by utilising clear thought you can
stop those “vague” worries you’ve been having. Contingency
plans are great anxiety busters.
Also
stay mindful of how you use the word BUT when speaking to
yourself. If you are in the habit of saying “I know I could do
X but…….”
Remember “but” is a deletion word. “But” deletes
everything that went before it. Try…”I
know I could do X AND by jove I think I will.”
When
creating solutions use the word “and” instead of “but”.
Be
mindful of this. It can make a big difference to what seems
possible.
The
Frontal Lobe – The most fabulous
object in the World. Apparently…….the human brain is the
most highly organised matter in the known universe.
There
is a popular urban myth circulating that we only use 10% of our
brain’s capacity. This myth has prevailed for over 100 years
despite clear evidence to the contrary. We do in fact use ALL of
our brain. It just goes to show how easily we can believe things
which clearly are not true and not particularly helpful either.
Our
early ancestors had a brain approximately half the size of the
brain we have today. That brain consisted largely of the limbic
system (the emotional/instinctive mammalian brain) we have
already discussed. The Frontal Lobe is in evolutionary terms, a
recent development. During our evolutionary journey our brains
have doubled in size. The Frontal Lobe is, amongst other things,
responsible for “making plans”. When Phineas Gage (a
railroad foreman) had an accident with some dynamite in 1848 he
ended up destroying his frontal lobe, though surprisingly, with
only half a brain he lived on for a further 10 years. He was, it
is said, mentally intact in every respect except that he lost
his sense of control when it came to social graces and he also
lost the ability to plan ahead. Phineas gave us our first
insight into the role of the frontal lobe. We’ve since learned
a lot more about the frontal lobe, and a good way of thinking
about what it does is to think of it as a “future experience
synthesizer”. If you think about it, it’s a pretty advanced
piece of kit. You can have
an experience before you have it. Imagine please…..
So
there you are…it’s December…you’re on the seafront at
Weston Super Mare and you’re wondering whether you should take
off all your clothes and run naked into the sea/mud? (To
celebrate the festive season of course.) You don’t actually
need to do it to know it’s probably not a good idea. You can
run the process “virtually” in your frontal lobe and
“imagine” what that experience will be like. If your virtual
frontal lobe simulation of that experience tells you it will be
a fantastic experience then you’ll throw caution to the wind
along with your clothes and get wet. But if your simulation says
otherwise you will receive a “FEELING” courtesy of the
limbic system which tells you to avoid that situation….fear
usually.
Now
consider…..what kind of future experience simulations do you
run on a day to day basis in your frontal lobe? Ask
yourself…are you running simulations of SOLUTIONS (which supply feel-good feelings) or of PROBLEMS?
(What kind of feelings do problem simulations make you feel?)
When
you consider how immediately your FEELINGS respond to those
simulations, I sure hope you’re taking on board how important
it is to use your frontal lobe future experience simulator
positively? That’s just SMART.
I
offer one to one solution focused therapy in Bristol and Bath.
If you would like to book an appointment please contact
me.
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